Nz Politics Round-up – 20 / 6 / 2014

Note: The rich political history of New Zealand is alive and well, and we are blessed to have elected representatives all over the political spectrum who exhibit the kinds of values and social mores that we can be proud of and aspire to.
Being a keen observer from 10,000 km away, here are the stories that have made up the bulk of our national political conversation. From what I can gather from a distance , these are the critical political issues since I left a year ago concerning my lovely country:
Labour: Has spent months and months of time cracking the whip at the implications of yet another blasted breakfast beverage – this time a glass of milk – only to be shown up as being fairly hypocritical, as well as the fact it is increasingly clear people care less about these sorts of things and more about a viable and clear alternative direction…
John Campbell was also said to be interested in a “Dinner with Grant Robertson” special, but Grant was too busy trying to pass on a hot baked potato that Shane Jones had left behind a few weeks ago…
National: While John Key has desperately been trying to wipe the milk moustache off from his smirk, the rest have spent the last three months defending themselves about shady relationships with big business – cut one Cabinet member (heckova parliamentary rugby player), inches away from doing the same to another. Also just green-lighted oil speculation in a Maui dolphin reserve, of which apparently there are only 55 left…
Greens: Big headlines for the party a few weeks ago about Metiria Turei’s wardrobe, otherwise stories about grubby twitter tirades concerning Bill English and his bedroom technique seem to be at the forefront.
NZ First: A previously smiling weatherman pushes an aggressive front through Tauranga, taking on his former bullyboy leader on issues ranging from undeclared racehorses to unreturned library books – as well as said independent MP proposing the most ridiculous thing ever heard of in politics – an “Independent MP Party” – unclear whether he really thought that one through…
IMP: One of the more cynical handshakes witnessed in NZ politics to date, though sadly not the first time such a marriage of convenience has happened. With a mix of Pro-Internet and Anti-Lots-of-things as a policy base, the potential for some awkward family dinner conversations post-election are highly likely. Also, King Kapisi came close to being on their party list – “Screams from Da Old Plantation…”
ACT: Possibly convicted and definitely covered in shit –  and then after him there is this guy (if you haven’t seen this yet its a bloody laugh):
  “Meet David Seymour: Act MP for Epsom”
Maori Party: Three leaders for a party with three MPs…
United:
Failed to register his own actively sitting party with enough members, as well as getting caught and booted from cabinet for leaking sensitive NZ security documents to a “friendly” reporter  – this from the self-proclaimed bastion of “Common Sense in NZ Politics”…
Conservatives:
I will just stick to the pictures for this one; they tell the story quite well.

Even the picture’s credited photographer has no idea how it came into being.

So, all in all, the person who has spoken the most sense lately is probably Ben Uffindell from The Civilian Party; he is at least acknowledging the ridiculousness of the situation – a refreshing dose of honesty…
Speaking of which, amidst all these other crucial reports from our media, there were positive signs a couple of months back with at least 3 articles on actual policy released sometime around the budget – before we got back to more crucial news like watching Foreign Affairs Minister Murray McCully playing backyard cricket on the U.N  front lawn with our PM behind the stumps …

 

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