When I get onto to the Hong Kong MTR,
The countless wonderful things I see:
Oh the lines to get onboard!
Oh the fight to get inside!
The only place in the modern world where
Old ladies push you to the side!
Oh hark the abundance of people!
Oh hark the lack of space!
Oh joy when one does conquer all
In the heated “find a seat” race!
Oh all the beautiful phones!
All have them in this place!
Miles of phones are all you see
And many a pensive face!
Oh the screaming red-faced child!
Set loose and running wild!
Parents have just clocked Candy Crush Level 500
But parental interest seems quite mild!
And the public shows of grooming!
Clipped toe-nails and hoiked-up phlegm!
The train’s as good a place as any
So get comfortable, dear friend!
Oh all the beautiful women!
The beautiful people all around!
But you might not see whilst stuck in an armpit
With your feet up off the ground!
And that sultry Announcer’s voice!
Oh the endlessly repeating voice!
Not a single word heeded by any concerned
But still, one sultry voice!
And the smelly homeless men!
Fantastically smelly men!
That sought after seat might come with a catch
A mistake seldom made again!